Solucionado use algo parecido a esto:
Código vb:
Ver originalDim j As Integer = 0
Dim vUser As String = "root"
cmd.CommandText = "SHOW FULL PROCESSLIST"
cmd.CommandType = CommandType.Text
cmd.Connection = conec.conectar2()
da.SelectCommand = cmd
dt = New DataTable
da = New MySql.Data.MySqlClient.MySqlDataAdapter(cmd)
da.Fill(dt)
dgv.DataSource = dt
With (dgv)
.MultiSelect = False
.SelectionMode = DataGridViewSelectionMode.FullRowSelect
.DataSource = dgv.DataSource
End With
If dt.Select("USER = '" & vUser & "'").Length > 1 Then
MsgBox("Work")
Else
MsgBox("Don't Work")
End If